My Emotions are not a Reflection of Me
In all your getting…
Hey boos, It feels like it’s been so long! Ahh, I hope you’re doing amazing. I don’t want to give the usual speech about why I’ve been MIA, so let’s speed this up. *Presses fast forward*
I’ve spent A LOT of time in 2018 being all over the place. It’s not that I haven’t known my potential or lacked goals, but I’ve lacked patience in a way you wouldn’t imagine. A grateful heart makes for a peaceful mind. Unfortunately my lack of patience has made me the complete opposite of grateful, and has made my mind a playing field for comparison and doubt.
I had huge expectations for myself this year, even though I knew God was telling me to give him this year to allow for pruning and processing. But, who just wants to sit still? What if I ‘miss’ my time?
Silly rabbit, purpose is from God. You can’t rush his process to get the glory out of your life. I understand this whole heartedly now. Most of my time MIA has been occupied with reflecting. Reflecting on how I messed up. Reflecting on how my lack of discipline and patience created rebellion in my heart. Reflecting on how I did everything I could to rush into a purpose and plan that simply isn’t ready yet.
BUT, I’m not ashamed of this. In all my reflecting I’ve also come to the conclusion that my emotions are not a reflection of who I’ll always be. My future still stands well with God. Why? Because I simply don’t possess the power to wreck God’s plans. Not even a fraction. I can’t go back and forth with how discontent I was. I can only move forward and truly trust God this time.
Emotions are “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from ones circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.” Thanks Google. To me, this translates to having the authority to change my mind. That the more I truly let go of my own timing, and the more I allow God to work on my heart, to prune me; the better my emotions become. The better I become. I control them, they don’t control me.
I would end by saying something us young social media folks say like “stay tuned for 2019.” But see that would be me trying to do God’s job again. He’s asked me to stop that. So, I’ll leave you with this: Whatever God has for you and I, he will make crystal clear. Let’s stop trying to rush. When it’s our time, he will make sure we’re seen. We won’t have to get in where we fit in because the entire space will be ours. Tell those frantic emotions to hush when they want you to jump ahead without being ready.
God has lead me to slow down and wreck my plans before they wrecked me. I’m excited to share what beautiful lessons have blossomed from my secret struggles of 2018 soon. Until then, you can catch me being still, working on my craft, and doing my best to hear from God. He knows best after all!
‘With all your getting, get an understanding.’ Proverbs 4:7
Thank you so much for stopping by - be patient and be blessed.